I want to thank you all for the kind comments on my last post. I really love how sweet and understanding sewcialists are.
It really isn’t as bad as I made it seem. Even if I’m not happy with the extra weight, I can accept it for now. Today I wore one of my old dresses (I’ve had it since before I gained all the weight) and my husband said I looked sexy, so that definitely made my day 🙂
Back to our subject though. Week 1 of the Wardrobe Architect series was meant to find out how my life influences my (lack of a) personal style.
For as long as I can remember all I wanted to do was get married and have children. I’m very happy now that I’ve got both, I feel my life is complete.
However, I’ve spend a very long time looking for that happy ending. Perfect love was my goal. I know now that there is no such thing as perfect love, but being young and foolish…
That I was young and foolish was reflected in the fact that I was convinced that looking and dressing the part would get me my dream guy.
It started in 7th grade and didn’t really stop until I found my husband.
In high school, my mother picked out and paid for my clothes so naturally I wasn’t exactly on trend. I went to quite a preppy school and the students there were very judgemental when it came to clothing.
I had a few crushes but they mostly resulted in me being heartbroken and trying even harder to fit in, which naturally had the opposite effect.
Things changed for the better when I was in eleventh grade. I switched my glasses for contacts and I got a job over the weekend so I could pay for my own clothes.
I still felt judged everywhere I went and it made me feel very insecure. When I met a boy/new people I tried to dress and act the way I thought he/they would want me too. It worked for a while, but love/friendship isn’t based on something as superficial as clothing.
I met my husband and it got better but it never really went away. I still want him to think I look good and if he thinks I look good, I feel good.
Problem is that I gained some weight which caused all my pretty clothes to be too small and now I haven’t got anything anymore that truly makes me feel good about myself.
So for me this series can help me with two problems.
1. Figure out what my style is and what makes me feel good about myself, no matter what other people think.
2. Help me to be less insecure and feel less judged. It’s all in my head, but that doesn’t make it any less of a problem.
There aren’t a lot of activities going on now. I mostly sit at home with my baby or run quick errands and take her for a walk. This means I need comfortable clothes which are practical and fit for breastfeeding. But I still want to look good for my husband by the time he gets home.
In three months time I need to go back to work and as a teacher I need my clothes to be teaching-friendly. In my mind this means not to much cleavage and nothing too short. I want to look like a fun teacher but at the same time I want to look like a grown up. I admire people who look pulled together, I never feel like I do.
My clothes need to be layerable as well, seeing some classrooms are hotter than others.
I don’t have the time or the energy to deal with delicate clothing which needs to be handwashed or taken to the dry cleaners. They need to be stain resistant to withstand babyspit and chalk stains.
I don’t like to stand out. I like people to notice me, but not at first glance. I’ve always felt like the odd one out so for once I want to blend in. Not by being the same as everyone else but by not feeling less than anyone else. I’m always scared people will notice the fact that I don’t look or feel put together and that they’ll judge me for it.
Belgium has quite a mild climate. We do have seasons, but I can mostly get by if I wear layers. We usually don’t have icey cold winters and hot as hell summers, so I don’t need a completely separate summer and winter wardrobe.
My body has changed a lot over the past few years. In 9 years I gained about 20 kilos. I want to lose about half of it. I’m not actually overweight, but I would look better if I lost some of the weight. I’ve got an hourglass figure but I’m quite short. My main problem is that I’m fairly short waisted and that I think I’ve got short legs. I feel like everything makes me look larger than I actually am and I don’t succeed in highlighting my assets. I don’t feel good about my body, but I don’t feel really bad about it either. It could be a lot worse but it could be a lot better as well.